


Wonder

by AngelynMoon



Series: Deal [24]
Category: Lucifer (TV), Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:15:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28407585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: Lucifer thinks about firsts.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Deal [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1252934
Comments: 3
Kudos: 60





	Wonder

**Author's Note:**

> As always let me know for tags

Deal verse:

Lucifer wonders how things would have been different if he'd know about Alec when he was a baby.

\---

Lucifer doesn't like children, they are innocent in a way he will never understand.

Of course there are a few children that he has come to tolerate, that he has come to...., care, for.

Alexander no longer counts as a child, not as such, but Lucifer recalls how small he felt as he carried him away from his mother that very first time, unconscious and injured and oh so trusting of the strange man that appeared to rescue him.

His interactions with the boy then had been awkward and he had come to treat the boy oy more as a small adult than a child, he treated Alexander more like he had Maze than his Detective treated her own spawn.

Alexander had never complained and Beatrice was quick to explain to Lucifer what he was doing wrong as a parent which Lucifer had some trouble adjusting to for all that he had raised Alexander.

But Lucifer had to wonder what it might have been like to know Alexander from his birth, to have been able to protect him from his mother's cruelty, her hatred.

Lucifer knew that Alexander loved his sister, and his adoptive brother and would hate to have never met them and Lucifer understood that he and Maze had not been equiped to raise a baby, he'd had problems enough with Alexander as a young child.

But Lucifer supposed it was a father's nature to want to spare their children pain and suffering.

And even knowing how bad an idea it would have been Lucifer wondered how it would have felt to hold a tiny baby in his hands, to cradle him protectively, he wondered what Alexander's first word had been, wondered who had witnessed it if anyone.

He wondered what had earned his child's first smile, his first laugh.

There were so many other things Lucifer wondered, he wondered how his mother might have thought about his child, wondered if she would have used the boy to manipulate him or if he would have been protected from her by virtue of being a child.

But there was nothing for it, Alexander would never meet his grandmother, she was gone.

And Lucifer would never know what a baby Alexander felt like held in his arms, he'd never know waht song made him go to sleep quicker, never know the pitch of his first laugh, the sweetness of his first smile.

These things were lost to him with Alexander.

But, perhaps, not lost to him, Lucifer thought and he glanced over at the Detective, his Miracle. Perhaps Alexander and Beatrice might one day have a brother that bridged their parents and made them a more permanent family.

\---

A/n: look I know that babies don't make people families but Lucifer has some issues and knows that Chloe would never abandon her child and so he sees a child as a way to make sure she stays, not healthy but Lucifer is working on his issues, he's trying.

Plus it's not like he'd get her pregnant without permission or talking to her about it, she'd probably kill him.


End file.
